In my workshops and consultations with children and parents, I strive to see things as they are. I take everything the child brings into the group or family.
I try to free myself from seeing or judging how things should be, or what should be, or what should be removed. It’s a daily challenge, although I can say I have a decade of practice, and maybe even longer of less conscious practice. I don’t remember the beginning, but I know this exercise is very useful, literally everywhere...
Starting from business consulting, through university work with students or research groups, working on projects, problem-solving in groups, all the way to family relationships and personal development. I try to perceive things "as they are." In my study of Healing Drawing, we practice observation as close to neutral as possible. In drawing and art, this now seems relatively simple to me.
However, in family and interpersonal relationships, it remains a constant challenge.
Especially when looking from the role of a teacher/therapist at a child/family—a role that somehow (perhaps stereotypically) already assumes that I know more than the one who is asking me something/seeking advice... the child/parents.
In my first systemic approach workshop, which I attended completely "by accident," I discovered the impact of a child's position in the family system and the therapist's position in their own family system on observation. This intrigued me so much that I attended several more workshops on systemic constellations and systemic coaching. And when my friend gave me a book written in 2020 by Bibi Schreuder (Bert Hellinger Institute Netherlands) with documented work techniques, I clung to it like a lifeline.
In consultations and workshops, I was often asked: Can I read about this somewhere? Where did you get this from? I would then provide the book references—however, for many, the original language of the book—Dutch—was a barrier. In the meantime, an English translation of the book was released (November 2023), making it accessible to a wider audience. But the sense of incompleteness remained... So, I returned to what was once my first paid job—translation.
This year, 2024, I plan to publish the Polish translation, which I am currently working on. During the translation process and my engagement with the systemic approach to relationships with children, I encountered a wide variety of approaches and reactions to this methodology. There were people who were curious about what it was but didn't want to expose themselves to a "constellation." Others were interested in the simple, practical solutions they saw working very well for me. This gave rise to the idea of a conference and the desire to bring together professionals involved in constellations, as well as people curious about what this methodology can offer in daily relationships with children. In fact, it’s aimed at everyone involved in a child’s life: parents, extended family, grandparents, teachers, educators, therapists, and anyone interested in exploring new solutions and personal development, since they, too, were once a child.
Also, the year 2024 is special for me—this year, the Polish translation of Bibi Schreuder’s book titled:
"I am a child, so I feel where my parents are"
May things go well for you and the children you care for.
oraz odbędzie się and there will be a / Healing Recognition Course-Conference
A few months of intensive (collaborative) work: from brainstorming about the goals and what we want to achieve with the conference, through substantive discussions with potential speakers, selecting speakers, to operational organizational matters such as choosing a location in Poland, a conference center, translations, and finally taking care of the basic needs of the participants.
I invite you to participate. Joanna
Original book in Dutch:
https://hellingerinstituut.nl/boeken/ik-ben-kind-dus-ik-voel-waar-mijn-ouders-zijn/
Book translation in English
https://www.amazon.pl/child-sense-where-parents-are/dp/B0CMVBVC2R
